OK, It had to be done.

About my trainer Albert. Let’s get this straight. Al’s a good guy. But, there’s plenty to complain about…mostly habits & hygiene. Al talks on the phone constantly, on a Bluetooth, so you never know if he’s talking/listening to you, or someone on the other end of the line. He’ll sit there on the phone with someone, not talking, the other persons not talking either, they’re probably just going about their everyday tasks. It’s hard to ask him a question about trucking because he’s always in the middle of a phone conversation. By the time he’s off the phone, I’ve forgotten the question. He’s got a very dull voice. In fact he’s rather dull. He has almost no sense of humor. I’ve wasted many good jokes on him. The everyday stuff where you see something ordinary and point out how funny it is. (Like seeing a sign on a bus that says “Caution, children may be exiting” and thinking that it said “Caution, children may be exciting.”) Now, come on, that’s funny stuff! He’d just sit there expressionless. I think I may go insane listening to him talk on the phone all day long, about the most mundane things, in that dull voice. He talks to many people a day, so I have to hear the same stories over & over again, about buying a $10 set of glasses as a gift for someone, “you know, something nice,” was his exact quote. ...you might be a redneck. He doesn’t listen to much music. When he does, it’s current country hits. AAAArrrrggghhh! I HATE that crap! He’s got satellite radio. He says he loves it because he can listen to the same station (it’s called Nashville) all over the country. THE SAME CRAPPY NEW COUNTRY MUSIC ALL OVER THE COUNTRY!!! I talked him into listening to Willy’s Place. Soooo much better. Classic country! Willie Nelson, Johnny Horton, Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline, Hank, etc. Plus newer stuff that’s in the old school style. They may even play the Derailers(?). (Funny note: Spell-check is suggesting I spell it “Detailers”) Anyway, back to Al. He farts. A lot. They stink. Don’t get me wrong, I fart too, but…yuck. On the first day, I almost gagged once just thinking about one of his earlier farts. Re-read that last sentence and let it sink in. Anyway, yes, you were just reading about farts. You didn’t know that when you read a blog about trucking that you’d read about farts. But, now that you think about it, you should have expected it, huh? He doesn’t brush his teeth. He’s got plumber butt. (I just cracked myself up when I typed that. Oh, I need to go to bed. 3:16am) He chews tobacco. He’s always got hunks of it in his yellow teeth. He’s got a disgusting pop bottle that he spits in. He doesn't tip. And, he complains to restaurant managers about food. He told me stories of complaining to managers, but today I got to experience it first hand. His mashed potatoes didn't taste right. The bad part is, they hadn't brought my food out yet. I've got a bad case of food paranoia. I don't demand that they bring me something else because, this time, instead of tasting funny, it has spit in it. Who knows what they may have been doing to the food! I know it happens! I know that a local Omaha News guy ate my friends spit! I'm always polite to the restaurant staff, and I always tip. He’s always checking out chicks. Too much. OK…a girl…so what? A girl drove by…so what? A girl on an ad on a web page…so what? I told him on the first day that I don’t ogle much. I don’t think he knew what the word meant.
But, besides all that, I think he’s doing a real good job of training, and he seems to be a good guy. A good, dull guy.