Wow, it's been four months since I've last posted a blog. Well, I've decided a while back that posting the blog as frequently as I had been, telling everything about all of my day to day activities, was way too time consuming. It took every minute of my life that wasn't spent driving or sleeping. So now, I'm going to post less frequently, only telling the best stories...like this one:
Tuco and The Flaming Lips! Or, How does a trucker spend their New Years Eve?
My New Years Eve found me with the option of spending the evening in Oklahoma City or Tulsa Oklahoma. So, I hit the internet in search of a fun way to ring in the new year/decade. The Myspace page of the Oklahoma chapter of NYDM listed a metal show with several bands that I’d never heard of before. I thought that this show could be fun because It’d give me a chance to hang out with the OKDM crew. But, the show was out of my reach because it would have had to have been roughly along my route, and have a place near by where I could park my 70’+ rig.
So, back to the web I went. I Googled “Oklahoma Music Calendar.” That’s when I discovered that my landing in OKC perfectly coincided with The Flaming Lips’ New Years Eve Freakout!!!
I didn’t know much about The Flaming Lips. I did know, however, that they were supposed to be pretty flippin’ cool! In the mid 90’s when I was a manager at a record store, The Flaming Lips simultaneously released 4 separate CD’s that were designed to be played all at the same time. That meant that you’d need to gather 4 stereo systems together in one place to do so. To tell you the truth, I never heard even one of those CD’s, let alone all 4 simultaneously, but I’m sure it must be quite the experience. Of course, I’d heard their hit “She Don’t Use Jelly” which you know may better by the lyrics “She uses Vaseline.” I’d seen them on Later With Jules Holland. I’ve seen Youtube videos. I had also just learned that the band had the honor of having an alley named after them in OKC earlier that year. But, that was about the extent of my knowledge of the band.
The show was about 8 miles from the truck stop that I was parked at. With some further Googling, Mapquesting, etc, I was unable to locate a place any closer to the venue where I could park the truck. At this point though, I had it set in my mind, “I’m going!” Back to the internet to find a taxi service.
It only took about a half hour for the cab to arrive. I wasn’t ecpecting him to show up so quick, so I had to scurry to shut off and stash my laptop, grab my belongings, and rush out to wave him down before he drove away. On the way there, he informed me of a place near the venue where I’d be able to hail a cab after the show. The fare was $13. I flipped him a twenty.
Next, I had to figure out which entrance to the Cox Convention Center led to our show. After a little wandering, I found a mob of lunatics, half of them dressed in outlandish costumes, waiting roughly in a line. This must be the place!
At any concert, no matter the size of the show, the energy (or lack thereof) of the crowd can make or break the show. It’s all about the enthusiasm. For example, when I went to see Rigor Mortis in Des Moines, there was a crowd of about 8 people (3 of us from Omaha), but we had the enthusiasm of 100 men! Did you ever see the movie 300? ‘Nuff said. Anyway, this crowd, from the moment I got there was very energized. Every time there was even the slightest sign that they may be letting us in, the crowd would erupt and roar into a frenzy. Time after time it was just a false alarm.
While waiting in line, I began to wonder what it was like inside the arena. Was it even an arena? Was it decorated for the occasion? It was New Years Eve after all. Was it a full arena? Was half of it going to be curtained off?
When they finally opened the doors and I made my way in, what I saw blew my mind! First, it was the full 15,000 seat arena. From the ceiling hung dozens of giant balloons, the kind you see being tossed across the tops of audiences at an occasional arena show, Alice Cooper, for example. There was an enormous disco ball hanging in the center of the arena that must have been 20’ across! They had a big half-circle light display behind them on stage that, at first glance, looked like a total piece of crap. Everything was poorly painted orange. I was thinking they’d bought some crappy 80’s band’s used stage show so they’d have something big enough for an arena show. I found out later that it was actually a pretty high-tech video screen system. A few giant hands littered the stage. And, the most mid boggling of all were the 2000+ giant balloons that filled all the seats behind the stage, floor to ceiling! The appearance of the area alone was overwhelming, and the show hadn’t even started yet!
There was a full moon outside. Not only was it a full moon, but it was also a blue moon which only occurs every several years! Thus the term “once in a blue moon.” Well, that phrase perfectly describes this show because, this wasn’t an ordinary Flaming Lips show (not that there is such thing as an “ordinary” Flaming Lips show). This was one of those special events where they pulled out all the stops. One of those shows that the die-hard Flaming Lips fans travel from all over the country to see. I, for example, rationalized that I had traveled over 50,000 miles to see the show!
The opening act, Stardeath And White Dwarfs (www.myspace.com/stardeath), are a psych/prog/experimental band from Oklahoma City featuring the singer of The Flaming Lips’ nephew. Their set opened with the intro to The Butthole Surfers album Locust Abortion Technician, Sweet Loaf, a copy of Black Sabbath’s Sweet Leaf, but, instead of playing the whole Butthole Surfers song, they played the Sabbath version instead. I’m sure it was meant to be much more “kick ass” than it actually was. I preferred their own material much more! They were actually quite good. They often reminded me of early non-Syd Barrett era Pink Floyd. I’m definitely going to investigate them further. During their set, about 50 of them balloons had already made their way to the crowd. It was already quite impressive, but as Wayne, The Flaming Lips vocalist pointed out afterwards, “you haven’t seen nuthin’ yet! Nuthin’!!!” They closed their set with a great psychedelic rendition of Madonna’s Borderline.
After their set, and after a little bit of re-arranging on stage, it was time for The Flaming Lips to take the stage.
Some intro music started playing while their video system showed some kind of spacey scene with the white silhouette of a naked woman dancing around. After dancing around for a while, the silhouette of the woman sat down kind of in a birthing position. It kept zooming in on her privates until it nearly filled the giant screen. Then, one by one, the band members climbed through the screen as if she was giving birth to them! All of the members, that is, except Wayne who was in a womb of his own! He was busy being inflated inside a giant inflatable hamster ball! When the ball was finished being inflated, they began the first song. The music intensified, and Wayne walked inside the ball to the edge of the stage…then kept going! Onto the crowd! He was tumbling around in the ball on top of the crowd, occasional catching his balance enough to stand upright with a hand in the air! The crowd of approximately 10,000 people roared triumphantly every time he was actually able to stand for a moment as if some huge victory had been accomplished! Then he made his way back to the stage where they let him out of the ball so he could continue with the rest of the show. Huge amounts of confetti rained down as the band performed “Race For The Prize.” About 30 or so people costumed as caterpillars, flowers, butterflies, and other assorted oddities lined each side of the stage and bobbed to the beat of the song. And, of coarse, don’t forget all the balloons that were bouncing around on the crowd.
Other songs included “The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song,” “The W.A.N.D.,” “Vein of Stars,” “In the Morning of the Magicians,” “Pompeii Am Gotterdammerung,” “Silver Trembling Hands,” “Convinced of the Hex,” “See the Leaves,” “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Pt. 1,” “Do You Realize?,” and, of coarse, “She Don’t Use Jelly.”
This song was dubbed the official Oklahoma State Rock Song (I love it when you can hear the girl near the beginning, very enthusiastically singing along out of key)
At midnight, he counted down the New Year. All the while, a crew of people were busy releasing the remainder of the giant balloons. Nearly 2000 huge balloons, ranging in size from 3-6 feet, bouncing around above the heads of the audience. The quantity of balloons kept getting greater and greater. There were so many balloons that it was impossible to defend yourself from them. While you were batting one away, another would be hitting you on the back of the head. You couldn’t even see the other side of the arena. Couples were kissing and people were wishing others a happy New Year.
The band had long since left the stage before the quantity of balloons finally dwindled. A crew was busy clearing the stage of debris so The Flaming Lips and Stardeath & White Dwarfs could come back out and, perhaps in celebration of the Blue Moon, perform Pink Floyd’s Dark Side Of The Moon album in it’s entirety. While Wayne was getting some of his gear ready, a group of people called to him and got his attention. “What just happened?” he asked them. Turns out, during the New Years celebrating, there was a marriage proposal in the crowd near the front of the stage. She said “Yes.”
Before they started performing Dark Side Of the Moon, Wayne instructed everyone in the auditorium to set their cell phone alarm clocks for 12:55am. I deduced that it was to simulate the alarms at the beginning of the song “Time.”
The room went black. Then Wayne appeared in the center of the arena beneath the giant disco ball donning a pair of giant hands. While a robotic voice and keyboards performed “Eclipse,” the giant hands shot lasers onto the huge disco ball, scattering the lasers throughout the crowd.
Then he made his way back to the stage. They performed “Speak To Me,” “Breathe,” and “On The Run.” 12:55 was rapidly approaching (remember our alarms?). The band was in full swing when our cell phones reached 12:54. They continued jamming at full pace. Everyone was watching the time. There’s no way they’re going to stop in time to hear our alarms go off! Oh well, it was a good idea though. Just then, the band abruptly comes to a stop, and everyone’s alarms go off all over the arena!
They continued to play the rest of the album, Wayne and his nephew each singing some of the songs. One of the highlights for me, was when they performed “The Great Gig In The Sky,” their keyboardist Steven Drozd belted out the vocal solo, perhaps more intensely than even Pink Floyd could do it!
When the show was over I meandered outside to hail a cab. I realized at this time that I had forgotten to ask the cab driver earlier for the directions to the spot where I could hail a cab after the show. Luckily a lady working in the arena was able to point me in the general direction. “It’s down that way past The Sheraton,” she told me. I wandered that way, never seeing any taxis. I went a few blocks past. Nothing. I headed back towards the arena. Some city workers were busy taking down barricades where they had apparently been having some New Years celebration in the streets. One of them was able to point out a cab-less street, telling me that usually there’s a bunch of cabs waiting there.
I waited a while at the intersection there hoping for a cab to come along. They were few and far between. Very few, and very far between. Usually they already had passengers. Often they were empty, but didn’t stop. More and more people started arriving at the intersection looking for a cab. It soon became a battle to try to outwit, out-wave, and out-hail the opponents. I lost.
I was able to hail one cab. Out of his window he asked me where I was heading. He explained that he really wanted to grab a large group of people heading in the same direction. He found a group heading the other direction that were willing to pay him $20 on top of the fair, and away they went. It was very cold outside as you could imagine, being that it was about 2am on a January 1st. Many other people showed up wanting cabs. One by one they all gave up. Usually they called a friend to come pick them up. I didn’t have that luxury. I was a stranger in a strange land, 8+ miles from my truck. My only option was a cab.
I made many attempts to call the cab companies. The phone was always busy. Then finally I got through. They explained to me, however, that they were too busy to send a cab specifically for me, that it was first come first serve, and that I’d just have to hail a cab. I explained that I had made many attempts to hail them with no luck. “I’m sorry,“ the lady said, and she hung up.
After a very long time, I was finally able to hail another cab. It turned out the same guy who had left me high and dry before, taking that group the opposite direction. He remembered me (my Fu Manchu moustache/beard thingy is easily recognizable). He asked me what way I was going. “You’re going South, right?” “Yeah, about 7 or 8 miles South on I-35,” I told him. With a very noticeable look of not wanting to take me, he looked around hoping for a better fare. “I’ve got to pick up this group I just dropped at The Residence,” he bullshitted me, and he drove off leaving me hanging again!
I tried every different variation of cab-hailing that I could think of. I tried different corners of the intersection. I tried different intersections. I tried waving while the cabs were still 1 to 2 blocks away. I tried yelling. I tried running out directly in front of the cabs. Then I repeated all these techniques. One couple crossed the street asking out loud, “what’s the best location?” “There is no best location,” I answered.
It got to a point where about a half hour had passed where I was the only person still out there. Finally another cab came along. I ran to him waving. He stopped. He asked through his window where I was heading. “I’m going to the Love’s Truck Stop about 7 or 8 miles South on I-35.” He looked around with that same look of not wanting to take me. No one else was around. “All right,” he said. I finally had a ride back to my truck. What a relief.
Looking back, though, if I had to do it all over again, attend that show again knowing that I’d be standing outside for 2 ½ hours afterwards, freezing, trying to hail a cab…I’d do it all over again. The show was that good. In fact, I’d probably endure even more torture to witness that spectacle again. The Flaming Lips! I am now a full-on fan.
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